i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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