So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
