hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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