Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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