I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
