So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
