I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
