I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When are your genitals available?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
