We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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