I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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