I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
