why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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