i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
