return my video game
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
home. puking in laundry basket.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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