So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
