so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
