She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love having hate sex.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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