but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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