you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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