He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
