good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize