Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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