You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
