Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
