u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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