I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
