Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Randomize
