you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
