I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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