sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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