I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
