i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
