she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
