I wanna passion pit in your ass
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
