I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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