I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
