I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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