I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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