I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
honey bunches of taint.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
