So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
