i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
