The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
