Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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