can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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