You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
