Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
