He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
