I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it was like eating out sand paper
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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