i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize