all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
