why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize