we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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