I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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