When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
