Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
