I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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