A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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