Got a toothbrush?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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