Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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