Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
