So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
