I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
