And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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