i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
