remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
