Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Panties = found
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
