If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
